Farewell for Now

So, my belly button is slowly but surely disappearing as we speak. At times I think it's completely gone but there is a slight indentation, so I'm going to say it's still there. What's going to happen to it after it's flat? Will it pop out then? Should I be saying "farewell" to my navel ring along with my farewell to my belly button as I have always known it? Right now I have plenty of room and there's no bother. I guess we'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Today I tried on all my sweater dresses that I was thrilled I was going to be able to keep wearing throughout my pregnancy. They're sweaters so, you know, they stretch. They stretch out perfectly for a growing baby belly. What I didn't consider is that as they stretch, they also move in an upward motion. So what this means is that my sweater DRESSES are now just sweaters. So, I say farewell to my lovely sweater dresses that keep me warm in the winter and comfortable at work. Instead, I can wear the nicer dresses I have that are longer or maternity pants. Ok, I can still wear some pre-pregnancy pants, just as long as they sit at my hip bones. I don't have many of those pants because this long torso makes it hard to wear such pants but I will make due. Not too much longer to go.

I already said farewell to my ability to keep an exercise routine. Never in a million years would I have pegged myself for the lazy pregnant girl. I never realized how tired pregnancy can make me either or how I have to stay on a food schedule so I don't end up sick. So I guess I can say farwell to the feeling that I am in control of my body.

Bruce thinks I'm freaking out over this stuff, and I am, a little. But I would go through anything if it means I help grow a perfectly healthy little girl to kiss and cuddle. Freaky stuff happens when you're pregnant but it's so worth it every time I feel her hiccup or stretch or roll around inside me. It's love.

Videos of Ultrasound

The Great Boy/Girl Debate

So, the story starts when we found out we were going to have a baby. Bruce wanted Ryan to be the first to know. When we told Ryan we asked him what he wanted. Of course he wanted a baby brother because he already has a baby sister. I told him I thought it was a boy but Bruce told him he thought we were having a girl. I told everyone we were going to have a boy. The whole family wanted a girl. Not one person said they hoped baby was a boy - except Bruce and Ryan. I was sad everyone was going to be so disappointed to find out there was going to be a new boy in the family.

Then I got an email from my mom, in my dream mind you, that I needed to stop saying it was a boy because Jerry and Georgia had somehow found out the sex of the baby and told my mom the baby was going to be a girl. The email was burned into my brain because the "girl" was glittery and pink and the "boy" was blue and wavy. This did not stop me from telling everyone it would be a boy, but I did tell a few people about my dream.

I didn't have a lot of dreams about the sex. I had a lot of dreams where I woke up confused, there was a baby in the crib next to a pile of hot wheels, but I had played with hot wheels as a child so what did that mean. The night before the ultrasound I had 3 or 4 dreams about the sex. There was one where it was written on a library card by I was trying not to look but I thought I saw an F (for female) but when I actually did try to look again I couldn't read it clearly. I can't remember the other ones, I just remember waking up and thinking "Another dream about finding out!"

My original plan was to have everyone find out together what we were having by asking the ultrasound tech to write it on a sealed envelope where I would deliver it to a baker to make a cake that had pink or blue frosting in the middle but would be completely white on the outside so when we cut the cake we would all then find out. Bruce couldn't wait so the new plan was that I would bake the cake, since we wouldn't have time to ask the baker because we could only have Ryan that same day before he left for a weekend excursion with his mom.

I was a little sad to not go with my original plan but it was so beautiful and moving to find out with just Bruce and I that I'm not sad at all the way we found out. I was crying so much that all the nurses and midwifes said I was going to make them cry and even the ultrasound technician (who we thought didn't have emotions). Here's our perfect little baby girl sucking on her tiny little fingers.

So, as you now know, we're having a GIRL! The ultrasound tech had to tell me at least 7 times and showed us from multiple angles that it was a baby girl with a little girl bottom and everything. I was in a state of shock. I was wrong. Bruce, of course, had the "I told you so" face. If only I hadn't been so vocal about it being a boy. It's amazing though, it truly was a surprise. I was expecting a confirmation but I got the surprise of my life. Bruce was the one who got to have the confirmation.  As we're watching our baby wiggle and hiccup and stretch and cough I was mesmerized but still stuck on the fact that we're having a GIRL. I told Bruce, "She still has to like dinosaurs and cars, though." No princesses for us. I don't mind a girly-girl ~ just not too girly. That would scare me.

So after hours of off and on crying and my trying to come to terms with the fact that we know what the baby is (the tech said she won't call it unless she knows it, I asked) we had to pick up Ryan, I had to start getting the cake ready and we had to make sure everyone was going to be at our house to share in the good news!

The cake was a disaster. I am no cake baker. It fell apart so it was useless as a "reveal" cake. Bruce had a last minute idea (oh I wish he had thought of it before I even baked a cake) about popping a balloon. Brilliant! I rushed to the party store and had them stuff pink confetti into 2 black balloons so instead of a cake, pink confetti would sprinkle out to reveal the sex.

We ate pizza, I had people vote whether it would be a girl or boy and I had all the Old Wives Tales and Myths that I had tried to determine whether BB would be a boy or girl.

Finally, we were ready for the confetti. I thought it would sprinkle down on us. No one said it would explode out of the balloons so I was stunned for a bit and didn't really know what happened. Thankfully Des videotaped it so I could re-live the moment and comprehend what was going on.

Yay! Everyone was so happy! I think so many people had voted "Team Blue" because I had been so adamant about BB being a boy! Remember, every one had said "GIRL" when we told them I was pregnant. No one really cared BOY or GIRL but know we all know. Then I got to share the ultrasound and heartbeats with everyone. Hm, I could watch that ultrasound over and over. The little ribs, spine, fingers, toes, the stretching, hiccuping and swallowing. I'm so in LOVE! Bruce and I have been all teary eyed. LOVE LOVE LOVE

Here are some family photos after I brought out the "It's a Girl" balloons!

Oh, What a Wonderful Life

Every once in awhile I stop and think "I'm creating a human being inside me!" It blows my mind. How do people just walk around not thinking about how crazy and miraculous it is. I'm so grateful every day that I have the opportunity to be going through this process. People keep telling me that I'll be complaining in the end, but I don't think I will. Sure, heartburn is uncomfortable, bumping my belly into things and not sleeping right is tough, and trying to fit through small spaces or regular clothes can be a challenge, but I can't imagine doing anything more amazing than this. Ever.



Some Belly Photos

A few baby bump photos

 9 Weeks - I was having trouble buttoning my pants but still pretty much looked like my svelte self. I see my baby bump, but I don't think others can.

 13 Weeks - I'm starting to omit certain pants from my wardrobe because they became "standing only" pants - not very functional for work

 16 Weeks and feeling like I look enormous. I was shocked to see my photo where I don't think I looked that big, but I visibly have more girth (at least to me).

17 Weeks and it seems Baby Toney just  popped out all of a sudden. I got a lot of double and triple takes from parents at work but not one person asked if I was pregnant. It seems pretty obvious to me.At this point, my skin feels stretched & tight, I feel full all the time superficially but then my stomach will be growling for food. Then I eat and I get indigestion like there's no room! Oh, and I measured myself. I gained 5 inches around the smallest part of my waist! I hadn't measured below my belly button before I was pregnant, which is clearly an area that is growing more than above the belly button, so who knows how many inches I've gained there. No wonder I feel stretched!

I'm 17 weeks and 3 days today and I woke up this morning and I've shrunk again but still feel the tightness. It's so strange. I thought it was here to stay, but I guess the baby's just messing around with me again. I was going to go show off my bump to my family because it's much more impressive in person and then se fue, it's gone. It feels pretty hard and maybe when I eat it will get big again. I don't know what's going on anymore, I'm just here for the ride.

Pregnancy Cravings/Aversion Thoughts

I just found an article about food cravings during pregnancy. I find this interesting because I craved so many things that, although normal to others, were not normal for me.  As I'm starting this second trimester (17.5 weeks along), I find that I don't have the cravings or aversions that I once did. I'm thankful for this because it allows me to eat more foods that I typically like, but that also means I could possibly gain more weight than recommended because I can eat most cookies again!

Anywho, in this article, I thought it was interesting that those who have the greatest food cravings also have the greatest food aversions. Thus, if you don't really crave anything you will also not likely avoid certain foods. Hmm. In my 1st trimester I craved fried foods (fried fish, the skin of extra fried chicken ~ though I didn't actually cave to this one, french fries), ranch dressing, potato chips (any flavor, I'm normally a tortilla chip girl), Thai food (mmm, curry!) and anything that peaked my interest on tv or in magazines (McDonald's ice cream sundae, Nutter Butters, pomegrante seeds, etc.). When I wasn't eating my high fat cravings, I was stuck with crackers, ramen noodles, brothy soups, you know, bland things. I avoided (and mostly still avoid) CHICKEN (which turned to any poultry in any way), all cookies (sad face), beans, wheat bread (still not eating), brown rice, steak, bell peppers, apples and I couldn't stand to be in the room with cooked ground beef (shivers).

As I've entered this 2nd trimester, I think I could eat salad 2 times a day every day ~ which I do many days. I haven't gotten remotely sick of it.  I will eat warm veggies but my dreams are of cold, fresh veggies. I drool for tomatoes, croutons and olives ~ all the first things I would pick out of a salad before. And I MUCH prefer vinegars to any other type of dressings. Unfortunately, I found I can eat many types of cookies (yes to White Chocolate Macadamia nut, Butterscotch Oatmeal & Eggnog cookies,  but no to Peanut Butter, Frosted Animal Cookies and others that weren't my favorite anyway). Baby Toney is not craving cookies, I think I just eat them because I can.  I could also eat oatmeal all day long - in bars, mushed, in cookies, sprinkled on other things, whatever way I can get it I'll eat it. This baby is so healthy, if only I could stop myself from eating bad things just because I can!

I also read this:

What do pregnant women crave? When we surveyed BabyCenter moms, almost 40 percent said, "Give me something sweet." Slightly fewer (33 percent) chose salty snacks. Fans of Mexican food and other spicy cuisine came in third (17 percent). Trailing (at 10 percent) were those who craved citrus fruit, green apples, and other lip-puckering tart or sour foods.Obviously my preferences have changed from the salty group to .....wait, oatmeal and veggies isn't on the list. Am I that strange?

Now, it reads that there's no real meaning for cravings, or at least none that they could find, although many people think our bodies are smarter than us (but why don't we crave veggies instead of candies?). The article did suggest in the end that you should give into your healthy cravings (well, duh) and limit your un-healthy cravings (so no more eggnog shakes from Jack-in-the-Box?). If you do want to give into your cravings, it suggests finding healthier alternatives like yogurt instead of ice cream. What they didn't address is how specific my cravings can be and substitutions just don't cut it. I had to have Better Chedders, Goldfish crackers or Cheez-It's didn't work. I needed a McDonalds vanilla ice cream sundae with caramel and nuts, not store bought ice cream. I required a balsamic vinegar not a vinegarette.

Well, this baby has decided that, once again, I will be hungry all the time. I'm trying to make healthy choices not only for my waistline (which is 5 inches bigger!!!!!!) but for a healthy baby also. So, as I'm surrounded by goodies I love to indulge in this time of year, I hope that I'm listening to BB to reach for more salad, eggs and oatmeal rather than listening to my mind which says "You know you've always loved these before and you have an excuse for gaining weight this year."  Did I mention I love being pregnant? All this stuff fascinates me endlessly. I can't wait to find out what my sisters will be like when they get pregnant :)

How Big is Baby Ticker