Bruce's co-worker, Stephanie, does a White Trash Bash every summer (so I hear). We were invited and it sounded like a lot of fun. Bruce and I haven't dressed up in ages so, of course, we wait until the last minute (the morning of the party) to get a costume.
I had been doing research for about a month (thank you www.peopleofwalmart.com) but couldn't decide what kind of white trash I wanted to be. Poor and not caring, young and think I look good, Peg Bundy-ish, redneck....the options are really endless when you think about it. After some shopping around, for me we found tacky star earrings, a stud cuff, a giant fake diamond with chain detail, the shortest shorts I've ever worn, a see-through lace top, a hot pink bra, a long cross necklace and a cowboy had with feather detailing. I was ridiculous looking.
For Bruce, it was a little easier. He found a Budweiser cap with a can opener on the bill, torn work pants, dirty old sneakers and the grossest shirt that could possibly be made. We actually saw this exact shirt on peopleofwalmart.com and we were mortified and mystified that someone would actually go out in public in this shirt. I won't even write here what it says. We debated on buying it for something like 10 minutes because it was so inappropriate. We thought there may be a contest for best dressed so....we were in it to win it and bought it. Bruce also had some Dewalt safety glasses for "sunglasses" and he had to cut the sleeves off his shirt. He was so trashy!
While at Spencer's (a gold mine of trashy materials), I found a playboy cap with a free matching t-shirt for 50% off for Brittany. What a deal! The shirt was little tight. What would a trashy person do about that? Well, she would cut the shirt in the front to accentuate her assets of course! Details included a fake pink, matching ring and giant silver hoop earrings. She had shredded some old pants and threw on some flip flops.
We put on some fake tattoos and gaudy makeup, grabbed some cheap beer and ciggs and we were ready to roll.
The party was out in Maple Valley. There were mattresses and tires randomly thrown about the yard. There was a lot of trashy food, of course, all provided by the Dollar Store: cheese balls, 7lbs of Nacho cheese, jalapeno corn chowder, Twinkies, Ding Dongs, beef jerky, etc. It was a lot of fun and we met some really trashy people. Of course, since I haven't ever met these people before, they could have been acting like themselves. Who knows.
There were a lot of redneck games to be had, also: plunger darts, trailer trash search, corn hole, badminton, pie eating contests and a sack race. We were split into two teams, cleverly named Team 1 and Team 2.
Team 1: Bruce, Britt, Stephanie and Mike, a lot more guys and only 1 or 2 really really drunk girls.
Team 2: Melanie, Jessica and her husband Ben, and really drunk girls. Really drunk. And only one other guy. Hmmmm, who do you think is going to win. NOTE: there is nothing inherently wrong with being drunk at a party on the weekend. It was the unequal distribution of drinkers/non-drinkers and male/females that I am complaining about.
First Game: Plunger Darts. Team 1 wins. Did I mention all the drunk girls on Team 2? Ok, it was 1/2 the team. Half. And Team 1 was closer to the "special target" where you can get an extra 50 points. Not fair, but it was fun.
Second Game: Chicken Toss. Team 1 again won. Team 2 was cheating and still couldn't win. That's what happens on the drunk team. All we had to do was toss chickens to the other side of our team who catches them in a pot. Yep, that's it.
Third Game: Sack Race. Sacks provided by Les Schwab, thank you very much.
Here are some pictures to enjoy. Bruce annihilated this one. He won it 3 times. Three times!! There was no hopping involved and everyone broke their bags because they weren't potato sacks. Bruce was so fast I had trouble trying to take pictures of him.
Fourth Game: Pie Eating. Bruce took 2nd, I think. It looked yummy. Britt was a complete mess. They had trouble getting Team 2 to participate. I'm still not sure where they went. That's what happens when you get drunk, though. Priorities.
Fifth Game: Trailer Trash. We had to look through plastic pools of trash for specific redneck items like a broken nail, Spam, a shower cap, etc. This one Team 2 actually won. Probably because half our team declined to participate(ok, we didn't know where they were, but those who were left were serious about this). Team 1 was polite and patiently let the most inebriated of their group look for the hardest thing to find in the trash all by herself (like they were supposed to do): the broken nail. Poor girl took forever! Oh well, we needed to win something!
It was a lot of fun. Here are some pictures:
2 comments:
I can not believe there is video of the pie eating contest... lol!
Yes. It was awesome. If only I could have done video and stills the whole night I would have recorded the contests.
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