Wedding Day

Yay! We finally did it. We got married after a 2 year, 2 month engagement. It was emotional for all of us, we had a lot of fun, but I'm glad it's done.

The day began, for me, around 5am when I bolted upright out of sleep thinking "we need lighters, pins, something old & something borrowed." I got out of bed to find the "something old" which would be a saint pin that was my Grandma Donna's which made it's way north after her death a few years back.I went back to bed to get some more "beauty rest" before the hoopla began.

When I did get up it was a rush to get everything ready and to my friend Stephanie's house where I would meet by friend, Shannin, to get ready. Stephanie was so nice - my sisters, my mom, Robert, Shannin and her hairdresser friend, Amy, and Shannin's daughter took over the house to do hair and make-up. I thought that 2 hours were enough to get ready, but I was running to the venue and got there exactly on time. The photographers and Bruce's parents were there when we showed up so we rushed to the bridal sweet to get started.

The "blur" that everyone talks about started there. I had no idea what was going on with everyone else and I was being directed by the photographer while Bruce was (I assumed) getting photographed as well. I wanted to have a sweet moment with Bruce before everything got too crazy. That didn't really happen since the craziness began as soon as I left my driveway, but I still needed a moment with him before seeing everyone else.

They staged "the moment" of course, but when I tapped him on the shoulder it was all over. We were crying and hugging and kissing and then the photographing began. We got to talk to each other under our breaths while we were being directed. Sometimes they suggested things like twirling and dipping but we were too overwhelmed for anything other than holding each other. This was the man I was going to marry in just an hour!

Photographs continued on with the bridal party, parents, both sides of the family. It seemed to go on forever. My cheeks hurt, my throat was dry, I just couldn't wait to get started. Everyone looked so good, the centerpieces were better than I could have imagined but I still just wanted to get down the aisle.

Walking down the aisle was a blur. Everything but what was immediately beside me was a blur. Bruce said it was the same with him. This didn't stop until we came home. I can't even recount all the things that happened that day because it was so emotional. Some bits are crystal clear but a lot is not. Bruce and I were crying when we said our vows to each other. I could barely talk when I said my vows to Ryan. He was crying, Bruce was crying, I was crying...what a bunch of babies.

Bruce and I ate food, but didn't taste it. We hadn't eaten all day but weren't hungry when we did sit down to eat because we were so worked up. (Both of us had been forgetting to eat for days because we were so busy getting the last minute things done). We greeted people but didn't really get a lot of time to talk to anyone but each other. Even then, I don't think we got a lot of time with each other.

The first dance was mortifying for both of us. We were discussing during the dance that we should have chosen a really short song because neither of us like a lot of attention on us. We cut the cake and it was delicious but then we barely had any. We were toasted by the bridal party, which made us tear up. We were both really moved by my dad's little speech in which he said that, as we grew up he always told us that "boys are bad" but that we've shown him that not all boys are bad and that Bruce was welcomed to the family. We still get teary eyed thinking about it. It really meant a lot to both of us because, well, boys ARE bad, but Bruce is good :)

I wish I could write a better blog about the day, but it is impossible to contain the emotions of the day into words. All the things people say to describe the day are right "swelling hearts" "it's all a blur" "it goes by so fast" "tears flowing" "butterflies in the stomach", but they are just words and phrases that try to capture the feeling but really can't because of the enormity of the feelings. We have beautiful photos to help us remember the day and bring back the memory of the feelings, but I can't imagine being able to have those feelings so collectively ever again. Bruce was right, I'm glad we didn't elope. I think that, although it was A LOT of work, it helped us really feel like we were making the big change in our lives, not just moving on.

I love that my family has officially increased in size. I love that I'm officially a step-mom to a really great kid. I'm excited to see what the future holds with us because, although I knew Bruce and I were going to be together for always, I feel better knowing that we vowed before others that we will be partners forever.