I guess that's just the way it's going to be

So, Mia is only 12 weeks but I'm finding out already that motherhood appears to mean I will have opposing thoughts and feelings constantly. I have a strong desire to be her everything because that's what she needed as soon as she was conceived; however, I have an even stronger desire to make sure she is an independent, contributing member of society. I want to be hands on but want to remember to be hands off, too. How will my little bird learn to fly if I'm encouraging her to stay in her nest with no need to move?

I want to hold her and cuddle her 24 hours a day but let her be alone so that she learns to be independent.

I want to play with her when she's awake but I want her to have time without people in her face so she can study the things around her.

I want to rock her to sleep while staring lovingly in her eyes but I want to put her down when she looks sleepy so she learns to put herself to sleep.

I want to go to the store and buy her everything so she never needs anything but I want her to learn that she can't have everything and that you need to be patient or work towards the things you want.

I want to help her roll over when I see her struggle but I want her to know that all her effort is worth it in the end when she achieves her goals.

I want to keep her a teeny baby and I'm already missing her newborness since she's growing so fast but I want her to continue to develop because I'm excited about all the cool things I can show her and teach her.

I want this but I want that so I guess that's just the way it's going to be for the rest of her life. That's why I'm soaking in every second ~ celebrating her accomplishments and grieve slightly for the way it was.

My baby girl is smiling, giggling, cooing and gooing, putting things in her mouth to chew and suck on, gnawing on her fingers, realizing she has feet, picking her head up, rolling over at times...so much has changed since the moment she was born. I'm so proud of her. Who knew your heart could swell because a little baby finally grabbed a rubber giraffe and put it's foot in her mouth to suck and chew on! I guess my heart should be prepared for more swelling because this is just the beginning. I think I may explode some day.

In the mean time, here's some photos from my phone (no blog would be complete without photos!) 

 She loves that thumb

 We still have to send out bills

 chillin' at the lake

 She loves Nandy Bear. They even dressed the same.

 Random photos because she's soooo beautiful

 Look at me! I'm on my belly!

 Happy baby!

 Rockin' the bed head style

 Pretty polka dotted lady

 Daddy's arm tastes good

 Hanging out in the shade with Auntie B.

 Waaa! Ryan splashed me when he jumped in the pool! Waaa!

 Yeah, I got a new diaper and it feels so good

 I eat everything now

 who do you think got me this bib?

 I can't believe she did this!!!

 Relaxing with daddy

 Now copying him!

 I find it relaxing to have my fingers shoved in my mouth. So what?

 So tired from all this heat !

 No more pictures, mommy, I'm sleeping!

 I was at a party and this is how I found her when I came home ~ nakey

(Bruce was sitting on an ottoman in front of her, of course).

 I eat ducks

 I go nigh-nigh in my car seat

 Nandy tastes so yummy