If I Could Freeze These Moments

I don't know why but I've been struck quite often these last few days by how much I would love to bottle up these moments with Mia. I want to freeze every sense - how she smells, what she sounds like, how she feels, the way she looks (can I add in how she tastes? Haha, like wet fingers). I guess because I feel like I'm already forgetting things I want to take extra care to savor her.

I would freeze the moment of her birth when I first put my hands on her and told her I loved her. When I looked over at Bruce to see he had actually made it through my labor. How her little body felt against mine, all slimy and warm. 

I would freeze the night she was born when we were all alone and didn't sleep a wink. I felt so awkward holding her and unwrapping her so we could lay skin to skin because it's supposed to make babies feel better. We were still both dirty because no one said it was time for us to bathe! We watched the sun rise over Tacoma so it was all pink and purple in the sky - perfect colors to start my baby girl's first day.

I would freeze the nights when she would only sleep on us so Bruce and I took turns holding her throughout the night.

I would freeze the moments when I rock her to sleep and she rests her head on my chest and pulls my arm over her ears and she wants me to rub her head. She snuggles in and listens to me sing to her or she hums herself to sleep. I never want to stop rocking her. I would do it forever if I didn't have other things to tend to.

I would freeze the moments she is nursing and she looks up at me and gives me a huge smile.

I would freeze the sounds her of her giggles, squeals and screeches and her smile is so huge.

I would freeze the first everything ~ giggle, roll, spin, grabbing her pacifier, coos, pulling herself into a sitting position.....

I know I can't hold onto these moments forever, especially since there will be so many to want to hold onto. I guess all I can do is revel in the moments as they happen and, as my dad is always pointing out, I can write it down so that she can be the most documented baby in history. That way, when she calls me up one day asking about having a newborn, I can refer back to the many notes I have taken and say "You were the same way, bug." (Side note, it's still super crazy to think that my potential grandchild is already inside of her, waiting for the other half).

I wonder if people can tell that I'm in love with being a mom of this little one. I couldn't have imagined how much you could love someone until I found out she was on her way.